Kick-Ass Red Band Trailer

I don’t know much, but I do know this is the first goddamn Nic Cage movie I’ve wanted to see in about 20 years. First we had McLovin’ as a super hero, and now Hit Girl shoots people in the face and calls them cunts? I usually take Mark Millar’s books with a grain of salt – a big bloody grain of salt. I’m just hoping this doesn’t go the route of the Wanted movie and suck all the cool shit out of the original idea. And if there’s a goddamned Loom of Fate in this one I’m driving to Hollywood with nothing but adult diapers and shotguns in the trunk. (via Film School Rejects)

Emo Super Heroes

Oh, no! The Emo Avengers are here, and they’re going to read you horrible poetry and tell you about how no one but My Chemical Romance understands what they’re going through. I think Lil’ Wolvie just started cutting himself, and Spidey is writing a loud/quiet/loud song about Uncle Ben. As always, Wundy is hot, even when she’s weeping and applying black lipstick. [via diskursdisko]

Depression Hurts More than Kryptonite, Healing Factor, and the Color Yellow Put Together

Creepy Comic Book Sex Scenarios

Hey, I like comic books as much as the next guy (as long as “the next guy” is Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons) but I never realized just how much (creepy) rampant sex is in them. Thankfully, the gentlemen over at Cracked have set me straight. From Astro Boy’s oil changes, to Superman’s sex tape, to sex with a dinosaur, they’ve captured some good (and creepy) comic book loving.

Don't Ask Where The Transmission Fluid Goes

Sex Advice from Comic Book Guy

The folks over at Yuhmm have dug up an interesting article, just in time for Comic-Con, which is sex advice from comic book store clerks. OK, so it’s not really Comic Book Guy, but that’s just funnier. I’ve rounded up my favorite bits below – the best part is they’re pretty insightful and on-point, but I only included the funny ones of course.

Sexy!

I want to dress up as a sexy comic superhero and seduce my boyfriend. Any advice?
If you’re busty, I have two words for you: Power Girl. It’s a fairly easy costume to make. A good fallback plan is the new Super Girl costume — just don’t wear any underwear.

How can I convince my girlfriend to go down on me more often without seeming pushy or demanding?
Just tell her that what you’ve got in your pants is the Hammer of the Mighty Thor, the Mjolnir. Tell her, “Those who are deemed worthy may hold it. Are you worthy?”

What’s the best way to seduce a comic-store clerk?
For one, don’t start with, “I live in my mom’s basement and I’m a level-fourteen Paladin.” Geek or not, that’s a horrible way to spark a conversation.

Nerve [via Yuhmm] (Ads may be NSFW)

Cable and Wolverine are the pimps of the 616

That’s right, Nathan Dayspring Askani’san Christopher Charles Summers and Logan are seriously busy in the MU. If you even began to understand what that means, you are a geek. There’s a place for you, geekologie.com. They found this.

Army of Darkness: Ash Saves Obama

I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming…

He’s faced them all, but Ashley J. Williams is about to face the greatest horror of his entire deadite-kickin’ career – a comic book convention! But this ain’t any ol’ comic book convention, this one features a special appearance from the president of the United States of America – Barack Obama! How do things go from there when Ash and Obama are in the same place at the same time? And did we happen to mention that the Necronomicon is there doing the thing it does best – turning ordinary humans into the demon possessed undead!

$3.50 (pre-order) @Dynamite Entertainment