Forwards From My Dad: Bilingual

It’s funny, because… Oh, wait, that’s right. It’s not funny at all.

I have no words

Forwards From My Dad: Evian Babies

My dad is constantly sending me forwards, and they tend toward the obscene – nudity without warning, dirty jokes, pro-Palin propaganda…you know the type. This video of roller skating babies is by far the most disturbing thing he’s inflicted on my inbox, without a doubt. I will never drink Evian again (not that I ever did anyway).

Forwards From My Dad: Tick Warning!

I can understand that. I feel stupid too. Especially since no one wants to see either of us naked…

Subject: TICK WARNING!
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally but this one is real, and
it’s important.
Please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for
ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off
and dance around with your arms up,
DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!
They only want to see you naked.
I wish I’d gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Forwards From My Dad: Scottish Joke

Scottish people are cheap!

Three men go golfing with their wives The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivees?’, Ole demanded.

‘Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.’

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.’

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on The tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?’

She replies, ‘I can’t afford any on the money you give me.’

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!’

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. ‘Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Ayyie! Where the frig are yer drawers?’

She too explains, ‘You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.’

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, ‘Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb…..Tidy yerself up a bit.’