THE JUNKIE EMPIRE: SNOW | MUSIC | GEAR | ROADTRIP | HUMOR

what are you doing here? it's the weekend.

Naked Album Covers: Probly NSFW

Posted: October 7th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , , | No Comments »

Here it is, folks – someone has finally taken the time to compile every single album cover they could find that contains any hint of nudity. They were pretty thorough, too, considering they dug up over 1,600 of them. There are all kinds of classics here, from Jane’s Addiction’s Nothing’s Shocking to everything Samantha Fox ever did, from the prolific Rutchov & Vladimir to…Cunt Grinder?

Check out the full list here; as our man on the street Church says, it’s the reason the Interwebs were invented. He also submitted his favorite album cover of all time, below:

Pablo Cruise - Lifeline


Creepy Comic Book Sex Scenarios

Posted: September 1st, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Detritus | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

Hey, I like comic books as much as the next guy (as long as “the next guy” is Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons) but I never realized just how much (creepy) rampant sex is in them. Thankfully, the gentlemen over at Cracked have set me straight. From Astro Boy’s oil changes, to Superman’s sex tape, to sex with a dinosaur, they’ve captured some good (and creepy) comic book loving.

Dont Ask Where The Transmission Fluid Goes

Don't Ask Where The Transmission Fluid Goes


The Ladies of Sturgis Bike Festival

Posted: August 26th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , | No Comments »

I don’t have much more to add about this excellent photojournalistic piece from the good folks over at Music Festival Junkies. They seem to have captured the flavor of Sturgis with their coverage, and the flavor seems to be hot chicks with a side of scary. In their words:

You used to be able to walk around Sturgis with your top off. Not anymore. It’s a $111 fine for showing off the ta-tas. When I asked a local resident why town officials put the ban into effect, his response was “because they’re gay.”

@Music Festival Junkies

You Want Whipped Cream With That?

You Want Whipped Cream With That?


10 Sexiest Video Game Characters

Posted: August 24th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , , | No Comments »

There are 10 hot video game characters in that little link down there. You can keep your DOA volleyball girls, and your Lara Croft – I’m only including the one who’s made my stony little heart palpitate for the last 25 years or so. TLA Ms. Pac.

Dimes Daily [via Yuhmm]

Hubba Hubba

Hubba Hubba


How to Fry an Egg

Posted: August 19th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Videos | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

What? Well excuse me, I thought you might be hungry. Oh, I get it…you’re uptight because it’s legendary porn star Aria Giovanni teaching you how to cook, and she has this look on her face the whole time like “Where am I? What am I doing here? What are these pieces of cloth tethering my giant bosoms?” Is that it? Well get over it, because eggs are delicious.

Also, is it weird that I spent the entire time I watched the video thinking “she shouldn’t be using a metal spatula on a non-stick pan” instead of ogling her?

from Hollywood Tuna

YouTube Preview Image

Japanese Sex Egg

Posted: August 8th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Videos | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment »

Japanese. Sex. Egg. It really defies description but I’ll try (softening the language to be SFW in a culturally respectable way, of course). You stretch the Sex Egg over your Mr. Roboto, then you squeeze in the lube and domo arigato the stuffing out of it. The End.

via LiveLeak (ads may be NSFW)


Piping Hot Pikachu

Posted: July 30th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

[Pithy commentary redacted for the sake of my marriage]

via Geekologie

Gotta Catch Em All...

Gotta Catch 'Em All...


Vader Bustier Causes Shift in Force (& Pants)

Posted: July 28th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

How much would you pay to see your special lady (or surprise your special man) in a Darth Vader-themed bustier? As long as you answered “$600,” this is the right product for you. Also available in storm trooper and various hues of Star Trek uniform, I wonder if these are made of a special fabric that sheds geek drool?

Evening Arwen [via Geekologie]

Luke, I Am Your Hooker...

Luke, I Am Your Hooker...


Brunhildes With Book Carts

Posted: July 23rd, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Videos | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments »

Sometimes, I think I should just redirect my site to Geekologie and be done with it. How do they find something as majestic as real-life librarians dancing with book carts, while dressed up like that opera singer from the Bugs Bunny cartoon? You shame me, Mr. Geekologie.

YouTube Preview Image

via Geekologie


Another Car Hood Quickie

Posted: July 13th, 2009 | Author: Drunkist | Filed under: Pictures | Tags: , | No Comments »

A little while back, I posted a video of two monkeys getting biblical on the hood of a moving car. Not to be outdone, the human race is showing they like to do a little bit of CAR-pulation too. (Get it!?) Ladies & gentlemen, behold the risks and rewards of making the loves on the hood of a dusty car.

Wash Me for the Slap & Tickle Set

"Wash Me" for the Slap & Tickle Set