Drunkist » that’s what she said

How to Fry an Egg

Drunkist — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 02:53:22 +0000

What? Well excuse me, I thought you might be hungry. Oh, I get it…you’re uptight because it’s legendary porn star Aria Giovanni teaching you how to cook, and she has this look on her face the whole time like “Where am I? What am I doing here? What are these pieces of cloth tethering my giant bosoms?” Is that it? Well get over it, because eggs are delicious.

Also, is it weird that I spent the entire time I watched the video thinking “she shouldn’t be using a metal spatula on a non-stick pan” instead of ogling her?

from Hollywood Tuna

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Don’t Mess With My Pajama Pants

Drunkist — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:44:51 +0000

OK, maybe I’m in a bad mood today, but I just saw the most irritating commercial in the world for That’sNotCool.com. Their hearts are in the right place, trying to stop cyberstalking and whatnot, but let’s say I’m unsure about the efficacy of their one-two punch of cutesie digital cards and white girl rap. Take that Ad Council!

That’s Not Cool

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I Never Get Pressured for Nude Pics

Drunkist — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:29:25 +0000

OK, there’s nothing funny about people being pressured to do stuff they don’t want to do, either online or off. But if you have a controlling, dickhead boyfriend, I’m pretty sure it’s not in your best interest to give him a printed-out card with a cute saying on it. You know what you do? Go Bronson on his ass.

That’s Not Cool

Actually, I Personally High Five Myself a Little

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Take Pride in Your Penis

Drunkist — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:55:15 +0000

This may be more information than you’re looking for, but I’m really, really glad my penis doesn’t have a soul patch. Oh, and that it’s syphilis-free. Yeah, that’s good too.

It Does Have a Fu Manchu, However

via Timbuk2 blog

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Monkeys Have a Quickie on a Car Hood

Drunkist — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:05:02 +0000

I love truth in advertising, and what it says in the headline? That’s EXACTLY what happens in the video. Hilarious.

(Thanks Dave)

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BJurger King

Drunkist — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:18:42 +0000

Bet you can't get the whole thing in your mouth

Why do I suddenly have the urge to sit in a Burger King parking lot with a bottle of ketchup?

via YUHMM (Site NSFW)

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