Hosting Your Douche-y Windows Party

There is no other explanation for the incredibly lame “Host your Windows party” videos – Microsoft knew everyone on earth was going to tear them a new asshole for being lame, so they went evil genius. They went as lame as humanly possible so the videos would go viral. You evil, evil geniuses you – because when I’m watching for things to tear apart, I’m still soaking in your brand. Some notes:

- I’m glad blandly-attractive middle aged lady has one black friend. He’s in her kitchen!

-Is hipster douchebag kid (the one in the weezer glasses and…wait. Black gummy bracelets? Really?) the grownup version of the Sixth Sense kid?

-I will beat you to death with your host notes.

-Seriously? You think it’s a good idea to do a presentation about your favorite Windows 7 features for 10 minutes when people are supposed to be having fun? Is this a party or a cult indoctrination? Leave the culty shit to Apple, boys…they invented it.

-They actually comment that Microsoft must be crazy to let them handle the launch of Windows. If there’s anything worse than a lame attempt at viral video, it’s a self-referentially lame attempt at viral video.

That’s all I’ve got right now – these videos make me so full of hate I need to stop. Watch for yourself, but check out the  anti-Microsoft(and anti-Apple) article article that inspired this screed.